Running from Life

Stephanie Vehnon
Jul 10, 2018
3 min read

Updated: Apr 9, 2019

What do you do when you feel all you want to do is run away, start new, spend time alone?

As a people pleasure, this is a nightmare to even think about. I get to a point where I am so exhausted that I just feel I cannot do it anymore. Then the cycle begins....

I am exhausted, lets leave.
No, you can't leave, you have responsibilities.
No, you can't leave, people rely on you.
No, you can't leave, you don't deserve a break or to be happy.
No, you can't leave, you are exaggerating your depression and anxiety.

As someone who is practicing emotional intelligence and self awareness understanding, I have to take these thoughts and say:

I am exhausted, but that is OK. We will get through this. What can I do today to help manage this?
No, you can't leave, you will be running away from everything you have worked to achieve. BUT YES, you need to take time for you. What can you do today to focus on YOU?
No, people do not rely on you. You rely on you, and you pressure yourself into pleasing everyone around you. What can you do to let people know you are unhappy and you need space - you need YOU time?
Yes, you deserve a break and you do deserve to be happy. Everyone deserves to be the best version of themselves and happy. What will make you happy today? Do it.
No, you are not exaggerating your feelings and emotions. You can do something to help your depression and anxiety. Do whatever you need to do today to make yourself happy and feel back on track.

This is not always easy. Yes, I know what I need to do, but it is difficult to do sometimes.

When you feel you are falling into another slump or depressive state, it is important to analyze the feelings and emotions you are having. Those who understand, will stay and those who do not understand are not meant to be in your life. Depression is serious, and some people do not even try to understand.

I hear this ALL the time, even from my own family: "You are not depressed. You are always so happy and busy and outgoing... You can't be depressed, that is not what depressed is"

I can tell you, I do deal with depression and hearing this is the worst thing you can hear. It makes you feel like there really is something wrong with you.

But let me tell you, depression comes in many forms.....

..... and for me, my optimism, upbeat personality, and people pleasing personality, drain me and my energy tends to fall to depression.

Do not let yourself get to the point where you cannot climb back up. Respond to the negativity your depression or anxiety is feeding you, and tell yourself the exact opposite. Tell yourself what you want to think and feel instead. It is hard, I know. I struggle with this still.

Today is rough, but we can always find a way. The hardest part is telling people about who you really are and what you deal with. But as I said, if they care about you they will stay. Running is a temporary solution. Chances are the negative feedback loop will begin again, no matter where you go. Unless you go to a beach, not have a job and live to hike and play water sports. Trust me, this is a dream come true, but we cannot do this as young adults. Adulting sucks most days.. let's be honest, we have all thought it. We need to try to make the most of it.